What if?

I don’t like public speaking. I despise it, hate, abhor it, one might say even terrified, mortified, petrified by it[1]. Every time I need to speak publicly (and cannot avoid it), the same train-wreck pattern of a thought is coming to my mind – What if?

What if I forget everything?

What if I will start stuttering and talk nonsense?

What if I will be ridiculed by my co workers because of it?

What if I will get fired because of it?

And I can dive deeper, the longer I think and ‘what-if’ about it, the more stressed I get, and the more stressed I get the worse the what-if become. This with all the physical symptoms of stress makes public speaking not fun for me.

This always remind me from a quote from The Time Machine:

You’re a man haunted by those two most terrible words: What if?

I recently read another blog post which has a different perspective, a positive one regarding ‘what-if’ – what if I try and succeed, as a way to push yourself and take that risk. My what-ifs limit me and scare me, his what-ifs give him a push to go further. I wonder if I can change my perspective.

[1] As paraphrased from the movie “A Beautiful Mind

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4 thoughts on “What if?

    • Thanks, I will look into that. This ‘what-if’ pattern of mine is in a lot of other aspects in my life, I wonder if I can find a course to each one of them or find a way to change my perspective in general…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes you could start somewhere, work on one aspect of your life at a time. 🙂 I’ve just noticed that the post is categorized under anxiety and sadness. Have you heard of the book The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman? It’s a wonderful read, quite philosophical.

        Like

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